Encounters with Stupidity

I'm addicted to caffeine. I started drinking coffee my first year of graduate school. Recently I reached the Caffeine Intake Level (CIL) of ~3 cups a day, plus 2 or 3 cans of caffeinated soda. That is a problem. Nervousness, insomnia are the results of this CIL. Of course, "getting more work done" is also a nominal result of the caffeine. In reality, though, being amped on caffeine becomes your normal state, the status quo. Then one must turn to crank to get wired. That's no good. Last year in the San Juans, Colorado, I didn't have coffee for a few days. The result was a migraine-like (as far as I can tell) headache that dissipated only after a cup-an-a-half of yummy coffee in Montrose, where they also fixed the fuel vapor hose on my Subaru. I try to reduce my CIL, but the results are invariably a nasty headache. Yeah, I could ease myself off. But my brain, in association with biochemistry of the rest of my body, now equates COFFEE intake with CAFFEINE intake. Results = I crave coffee. My favorite bean to brew at home is Trader Joe's Columbio Supremo. They make a decaf version, it's a bit pricier. Never mind they sell the excess removed caffeine to Coca Cola so they can sell it back to me in my Diet Coke. My plan. Gradually replace the caffeined coffee with decaf, bean by bean. I will begin with one decaf bean adrift in a sea of caf-beans. Gradually, I will work my way down to half and half decaf/caf beans. At the end, months from now, I'll be tossing just 3 or 4 caf-beans into my grinder. Then, one fateful day, perhaps I'll put only one solitary caf-bean into the Black & Decker to be pulverized. Providing 0.000000001 mL of caffeine.